I think judgement gets a bad rap and a conversation this morning led me to this personal post. The last 3-weeks leading to this past weekend were intense for me. Researching and creating an upcoming program has been exciting, overwhelming and challenging. Before inviting others in, there are foundational aspects that have to be addressed first with specific deadlines. A successful milestone was met on Thursday (Yay!) and then, Valentine’s weekend which for me was a mixed bag and not for the most obvious reasons. Some of you know I gave birth to a son, (Dimitri) who would’ve been 21 years old this past Saturday. Dimitri lived for a short time but his life is something I think about in terms of choices, my choices: would this be aligned with what I’d want for him…for a better world? I didn’t talk about this for a long while because there would be those who’d say it happened so long ago, he didn’t live a long time, and/or so his life didn’t matter, this isn’t as important as Yada, Yada, Blah, Blah. From this and other situations I’ve learned judgement isn’t the problem but misplaced information, misjudgment and condemnation is the problem. Less informed judgement is problematic and so I’ve been learning to listen more, speak less and address the feelings in between. There are certain people I just don’t invite into specific types of conversations because they have proven to not have the acuity and capacity at that time. And there are others who may not know personally what this feels like but, they show up, willing to learn and support. This weekend I took some time and did some loving things for a few, including myself. I think the most loving thing you can do is to increase loving, appropriate judgment and decrease condemnation because judgement is necessary. Ridicule and willful ignorance are not. Live Well. Be Well. Love Well💜
